


The future he believed in

by purplejabberwock



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-11-01 22:53:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20534762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplejabberwock/pseuds/purplejabberwock
Summary: A room stands empty, and Ritsuka refuses to let it be. Major spoilers for Final Singularity.





	The future he believed in

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Makari Crow (Beanna)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beanna/gifts).

I found Senpai in the doctor's old room. It wasn't where I expected her to be. She didn't like cleaning, unless I was there to help, and even then sometimes she liked spending more time playing with Fou. I didn't expect her to be there, surrounded by boxes. 

Maybe I should have. I hadn't seen what happened. Chaldea had been cut off. Senpai was the only one who saw -- who saw the doctor in his final moments. Maybe she had asked to be the one to pack up his room.

At first I didn't want to go in. Senpai was sniffing, but she was still picking things up and putting them down. I didn't want to disturb her. But then -- then I saw her take something out of a box, and hold it, and put it back on the shelf, instead of the other way around.

"Senpai?" I didn't mean to speak, but I couldn't help it, and Senpai didn't seem surprised when she turned and gave me a brave smile.

It was a wobbly smile, but it was brave, because it said that Senpai was going to keep going regardless of how many friends she -- _we_ \-- had lost.

"Hey, Mash. Give me a hand here, will you?"

I moved into the room, looking around. At a glance it seemed like a place half-packed, the remains of someone's life, a very short life, only partly put away where they might forgotten. There was a rumpled blanket on the stripped bed. Some knickknacks still on the shelves. Some clothes stacked on top of drawers, instead of in. And yet -- and yet I had very definitely seen Senpai take something _out_ of the box.

Maybe it was something special. Something she wanted to keep, or look at again.

"What is that, Senpai?" I asked, moving closer and sitting down next to her. She was holding a smaller box, what looked like a jewellery box, made of wood -- one of the simple ones that had a clasp and a lid that lifted.

"It's some of his stuff," she said, and opened it so I could see. There was jewellery inside, which was to be expected when it was a jewellery box; but this was Doctor Roman's box, and he'd never worn jewellery that I remembered. There was a section for some earrings, including a lovely set of gold double-diamonds, but I couldn't remember the doctor's ears being pierced. There was a section for some gold necklaces, some bracelets, some anklets.

Mostly, there were rings. I reached in to touch them without thinking, and froze, and Senpai laughed. It was a watery laugh. A sad laugh.

"I think he really liked things like this," she said, and reached in to pick one out. "Look. It's one of those mood rings kids and teenagers like to wear. I have one myself."

"It's all worn on the sides," I said.

"Yeah. I think he actually wore it. Maybe during school. But then -- then he had to take them off." I sneaked a look at Senpai's face. She wasn't laughing now. Now, she just looked very sad and tired, and my chest clenched; but I didn't know how to make the sadness go away. Senpai had seen some things I hadn't. 

It wasn't much, but I sidled a bit closer so our shoulders brushed, and she smiled at me, still sad. "Thanks, Mash."

"Why do you think he had to take them off?"

"I think it would have been too obvious to wear them, after he figured out who -- _what_ \-- Lev Lainur was." She hugged the box to her chest and went through the rings, picking them out one by one. The mood ring went on her thumb. Another went on her index finger, another on her middle; and slowly space on her fingers filled, first one hand, then the other.

"Why those ones, Senpai?"

"They're the ones he used to wear," she said, and extended her hand so the light caught and I could see where metal coating had been polished away, where tarnish had set in from use. There were only nine.

"He must have worn them with the one his Master gave him," I said.

"Yeah."

"I wonder ..." I stopped and ducked my head, feeling my cheeks warm, but Senpai just looked over and waited. "I wonder if he wore them because he thought the tenth ring might get lonely. Or -- maybe _he_ felt lonely, without them. It's the rings that gave him most of his powers, isn't it?"

"Maybe," said Senpai. "I don't know." She wiggled her fingers. They were all too big. Even though the doctor had been a slender man, with slender fingers, they were still too big. As long as Senpai didn't try to fight in them she shouldn't lose any, though. "We have a holiday soon, don't we?"

I nodded, distracted by the gleam of the rings on her fingers. "Da Vinci said we should try to get out of Chaldea, at least for a little while. Why?"

"I want to go to a jewellery store," said Senpai, with the same decisive conviction with which she gave orders in the midst of battle. "A lot of these are cheap things, things kids and students can afford. I want to get a ring to fill in the tenth. Something nice. Something that means something, from us. That way, when he comes back, he already has ten rings to wear."

She closed the box and got up to put the box on the bureau, and I sat there with a burn in my eyes and a rock in my stomach and, over both those, a flutter in my heart.

"S- Senpai ..." My voice was small. She turned. "Do you -- do you really think --" I swallowed through the lump in my throat, and now it was hard to see her because my vision was blurring. "Da Vinci said that ... his Noble Phantasm ..."

"Think about it, Mash," said Senpai. "It was supposed to remove him from existence, right? But King Gilgamesh said that isn't possible. The Singularities, even when they end, leave their mark on the fabric of human history."

"But ... it was a Noble Phantasm." That was different from a Singularity. I couldn't say more than that. The tears were in my throat.

Senpai came back and knelt across from me and took my hands, and wiped off my face so I could at least see her. Her eyes were wet too, and so were her cheeks, but her expression was determined.

"So what? We still remember him, so his existence didn't vanish. The Mages' Association has confirmed that everyone lost a whole year, so the Incineration didn't just _not happen_. And I've looked on the internet. The Bible still mentions him. Scholars still mention him. The Temple of Jerusalem still existed. What he did broke up the Temple of Time, but the very fact that humanity is still alive proves his existence. The fact that he lived _and _died is now part of the foundation of human history."

I watched her face, fascinated through the tears, even though I couldn't speak. She was wearing her most determined expression, the one she wore when someone was being stupid and she was about to tell them why. She had looked like that even at me sometimes. "When people become Heroic Spirits, it isn't just because of the choices they made -- it's because of how they get remembered too. He can't just take himself out of the Throne of Heroes all by himself like that. 'I am He Who Surrenders The World' may have been his Noble Phantasm -- but that doesn't mean the world surrenders him. We're not _done_ with him yet."

_That doesn't mean the world surrenders him._

I sat there, stunned but with something hot and painful welling up inside me. It felt good; it felt like hope. But it brought fresh tears spilling down my cheeks, and felt like it was cutting me up inside too. Senpai squeezed my hands and got up to go to the box she'd just finished unpacking, and broke it up so it was flat. She left it against the wall with the others, and went to the next box.

She wasn't packing Doctor Roman's things. She was _unpacking_ them.

"So that's why --" She spoke abruptly, her voice thick with tears. That was probably why she'd gotten up. That was silly; it wasn't like I could see her cry. I was crying too hard myself. "That's why I'm not giving up. Sooner or later, we're sure to come across him again. When we do, we can bring him home, to where he's meant to be. Because he's out there, somewhere, and we're going to find him."

She was crying, and crying hard. I could see the way her hands shook as she pulled out a stack of clothes, the way she had to sniff hard for lack of a handkerchief. She'd probably left them in her room again. Doctor Jekyll had given her a whole stack of them, and she still forgot to put one in her pocket. Georgios liked to put them in her Mystic Codes, but she wasn't wearing one right now.

Even while she was crying, she stood up and moved forward, and took action. It was all I could do not to bend into myself and curl up on the floor. How did she do that?

I took a deep breath, and wiped my eyes. "S- Senpai?"

Senpai turned, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her palm. It didn't really stop the tears. "Yeah?"

"Can I help?"

She smiled then, and it was a small smile, but not one of the sad ones; and more powerful for being small, through even tears. It was the kind of smile that buoyed my heart, even with the painful hope trying to make it clench, and made it seem almost easy to get to my feet. "Always, Mash. Come on."


End file.
